Rover Dangerfield!?

As you can tell from the title, today's Nostalgic Pups is having a WTF moment. Yes today, we will be looking at the barely remembered, painfully unfunny and just plain awful crapfest that is Rover Dangerfield!
Yup. This is one of those movies that was a lot better when you were a kid. Okay, its one of those movies that was decent when you were a kid. Watching it now? Painful to say the least. Besides the flimsy plot, unfunny jokes and annoying voice actors the worst part is definitely Rover himself, which is just a creepy dog-like caricature of Rodney Dangerfield. I say dog-like because the animators retained way too many of Rodney's real life mannerisms, resulting in pure unadulterated weirdness. Exhibit A:
Charlie in All Dogs Go to Heaven was based on his voice actor (Burt Reynolds!) too, but it wasn't to the point where he no longer looked like a dog and was creepy.
So about that plot . . . yea, the plot. Rover lives in Las Vegas and loves it. He shows it during a terrible musical number:Things change because of Rover's showgirl owner.
She is dating this guy, who apparently is a methhead.
He decides Rover is an obstacle to something-or-other and tries to kill him. Instead, Rover is rescued and ends up on a farm. (A city dog on a farm!? That's preposterous!) On the farm are a group of dogs that the movie should have been about, but wasn't. Despite the fact that they are a billion times more likeable than Rover, they hardly get any screen time, to the point where I can't even remember their names. There is also another dog, Raffles (a Border Collie I think) who could have easily been the star of this movie, but is instead relegated to the role of simple country boy (dog?) who teaches the city slicker the ropes on the farm. Yawn. I really liked Raffles and the other farm dogs. They were the only thing worthwhile about this movie. Everything else felt so contrived. Oh well. Moving on! At this point there is only one thing missing from this movie. Can you guess? That's right! No movie about a fat and 'lovable' guy is complete without the superhot love interest! In this film, the love interest is Daisy, a beautiful Rough Collie whose job is to scare away crows, I think. After about five excruciating minutes of interaction (which include another terrible song), Daisy decides she loves Rover. Yeah, I don't have an explanation for that either. Anyway, after this Rover proves himself on the farm by saving the farmer's life and doing various other things. Blah blah blah. His showgirl owner finds him. Blah. All this nonsense culminates in one of the most disturbing things I have ever seen in animation.

These puppies (cue dramatic music):Why? Why are there like 30 of the Rover puppies and one of the pretty Daisy puppies? Why was this movie ever made? If you're feeling masochistic today, this gem is available somewhere on Youtube. Just don't say I didn't warn you. Because I did. Many times.

Because all the other dogs are jealous . . .

Yes, I am a little fixated on Buddy. So. What.

Buddy is the dog that I have the most contact with (other than my non-existent one of course!) But I do know other doggies. These two are ridiculously cute. They belong to a really good friend of mine, and I really want to squish them. Like really. Okay.


Meet Max.
He has a glorious mustache.
But sometimes, he has a hard time seeing through it.

Meet Meaty.
Meaty wears a glorious monocle on special occasions.
True story. However! Max does get a little jelly.
Max wants to wear the derby, but Meaty won't share. Its ok Max. We all want to wear the derby.

On today's episode . . .

For today's Nostalgic Pups, we are looking to Walt Disney! But wait! There's more! Today's pups are NOT animated. That's right. Not animated. They are none other than Chance and Shadow, the canine protagonists of Disney's Homeward Bound: The Incredible Journey. Homeward Bound was one of those talking animal movies that didn't have animals that moved their mouths. I personally think it works out better that way, as the movies with the mouth-moving in sync with what the animal saying usually suck.

Doing the narration (and getting some of the best one-liners) is Chance. Chance is a young, mischievous rescue dog who still hasn't learned the concept of family (duh, that's at the end!). Chance is an American Bulldog, and probably the number one reason to see this movie. I love Chance. He's such a dog! He is always thinking about food, chasing things and interesting smells. That pretty much sums up a big chunk of a dog's personality, and why they are so charming. Also, like I mentioned before, Chance has some of the best lines in the movie. I will include some of my favorites below:



"Ta-da! Batdog!"
(after seeing the chicken coop) "Hallelujah, I've died and gone to Kentucky!"
(while chasing a goose) "I'm not gonna hurt you, I just want to chew on your neck!"
"This is like Arnold Schwarzen-kitty!"
(after an encounter with a porcupine) "Ah! He bit me with his butt!"

Next we have everybody's dream dog: he's loyal, well-behaved, and very handsome. He is Shadow, the beautiful Golden Retriever. Shadow is like an old gentleman, serious and old-fashioned. He is basically the perfect dog, and the initiator of the films titular journey. I have to admit that at first I didn't like Shadow, being so stodgy and perfect, but as the movie goes on he becomes much more likable.


Of course there is also the cat, Sassy, but since this is a blog about dogs, we aren't going to discuss her much. Sassy also had some great lines, such as:

"Oh, is that any way to speak to a petite dewdrop... you big flat-faced butt-sniffer?"
(as her owner hugs her) "Hope, sweetheart, Sassy can't breathe"
"Oh, Chance. When will you grow up? That bear could've eaten you. Don't you realize how painful that would've been... for the bear?"


One of my favorite moments was this Sassy/Chance exchange:
Chance - "Well fine, just sit here and diet."
Sassy -"Are you calling me fat?"
Chance - "'Course not, for a hippopotamus!"
(Chance runs into a tree)
Chance - "I meant to do that!"


So in the end, everyone comes out of this adventure alive (barely), are reunited with their humans, and learn valuable life lessons like (ready for it?) the meaning of family! AWW!



Stay tuned for the next Nostalgic Pups!

They need love too

I'm all about showing love for all the dogs in the world, and that includes fictional ones. Oh yea, I'm going to take you back, back to the 90s. Back to the best film Fido's of my childhood, in a feature I'm gonna call Nostalgic Pups.

Today, it's all about Charlie and Itchy, the trouble making duo from Don Bluth's All Dogs Go to Heaven.

Charlie Barkin is a German Shepherd mix of sorts with questionable morals and lacking a conscience. He does whatever it takes to get what he wants, and that usually means he doesn't think things through ever. Despite this, I think he is cute and I would totally adopt him. My only fears would be that a. Charlie would escape. Many times or b. he would build an underground casino in my yard.



Itchy Itchiford is an adorably neurotic and paranoid Dachshund, or, the perfect foil for the reckless Charlie. Also he is itchy, hence the name. Supposedly he itches the most when he's nervous, but he's nervous most of the time so basically Itchy is always well, itchy. Would I adopt Itchy? Probably not. Neurotic dogs annoy the crap out of me. He is sweet, so maybe I'd consider it.




There are plenty of other dogs in this movie, but they are all scary/strange/unlikable, so, I'm not really going to discuss them. Except Killer. Killer the nerdy homicidal maniac. Seriously, what kind of dog is Killer? He's the only one whose breed is completely ambiguous. Maybe he's such a huge mutt that's he's become unidentifiable? Perhaps that's the source of his rage? I mean, I know I'd be pissed if I looked like a near-sighted, malformed sausage link. Would I adopt Killer? HAHA. No. I forgot to mention I don't like homicidal dogs. Especially when they kind of look like malformed sausage links.


In the end, it turns out Charlie has a heart of gold (movies, stop trying to tell us that men change. They don't!), and he gets to go to Heaven! YAY!

Seriously though, I really love this movie. How can I not? It has dogs, its funny, and there are no princesses (I like them, but they get old fast). Heck, there is even a musical number with a vaguely homosexual crocodile (alligator? wut?). That's all I need in life.

Hope you enjoyed this trip down Repressed Memories Lane, and stay tuned for the next Nostalgic Pups!